Recent happenings

What's new? Good question. Time seems to rush away. Days. Nights. Days. Swooosh.
Among the happenings for the previous 7 days: baked some gingerbread cookies, made some "knäck", baked some other stuff, cooked a bunch of food, did a lot of cleaning up, sent a snailmail letter to NL, sold a bunch of pictures, spent some hours moving around a lot of snow, bought a book in Dutch etc.

A & G arrived today, really nice to see them again. Tomorrow will probably be devoted to some citylife, got some stuff to take care of (should write a note not to forget some stuff this time too, don't want to repeat yesterday again).

*lala-la-la*

efficient or not, that's the question

Yesterday I was in some high efficiency mood, somehow managed to bake caramel cookies, gingerbread cake, some regular bread and cook a lot of food in just some hours. For me, being in that state is rare. I don't enjoy cooking/baking so...Now I don't have to do it for a while, makes me somehow happy. Also, randomly, sister & G visiting in about 1 week is good. My father's appointment with the doctor + surgery is delayed until January or so, not that good but he will survive that too.

Today has been quite inefficient. Did some editing & sorted out the videos issue. Just need to finish the other pics and then they all of them are done for delivery. Would be good to deliver them before the weekend. Other than that, I've mostly added stuff to my list of things to do today. Head feels mostly like a sponge (been sneezing for hours). Think I am catching a cold/flu. Hope it's just a regular cold so that I will be fine in just some days. Did find out that I was accepted for a course I applied for taking after Christmas, now I just need to figure out if I really want to take it or not.

Guess some sleep in general would be good.

*zzz*

to do or not to do

I don't know how this happened but all of a sudden my list of things to do is once again growing. That itself is not that bad if it wasn't for the lack of control.
I guess should need to just sit down and try to organise the mess: remove things that are no longer relevant and add the stuff that is not yet in there. Perhaps change some priorities. Can I schedule time with myself for doing this? I wonder...
(soon it's as back in Luleå when P and I scheduled having dinner since otherwise none of us would have had time to eat some days!)

Talking about which - I do have a photo job on Saturday. Most details are taken care of, what I do need to do though is to look for where I put the legal papers last time, should be able to modify them and use the same approach this time too. Feels like inventing the wheel again if I should start from the beginning with this again.

*lala-la-la*

Zzz...

Started a new photo project of mine today, keeping myself busy in general. GENSO is still down, I wonder how long we will have to have it like this? I am not happy with it. Additionally I think I promised to do a photo job on Saturday, should probably check that tiny detail sometime tomorrow.

Wonder if I ever will learn how to sleep properly? I am not sure. I keep ignoring to go to bed at what people usually would call an appropriate time. Perhaps I have some kind of shift in my natural clock? Hmm.
I believe that there are two types of people: the ones who sleep on the diagonal of their beds and the ones who don't. I am definitely part of the first group, sometimes good, sometimes bad. Depends on size of the bed and if you need to share this area with someone. Sharing it with someone who doesn't sleep on the diagonal is proven to be hard.

Zzz...

commercial, non-commercial, minimised expenses, Christmas etc

After finishing up the Cosmos stuff for now - envelope waiting to be mailed back to them now - I also happened to come across another "do you have some minutes and feel like sharing your opinion with us?" thing. This 2nd was about how I look upon "commercial use" and "non-commercial use" - it's hosted by Creative Commons (the questionnaire can be found through this page) and is part of their current study of how people understand the term "non-commercial use".

I also did some random reading of material published by people who have by some reasons lived a life focused upon minimising their expenses and energy usage during a longer time. Quite interesting to see how these people "gave up" a lot, just focused upon the essential things, consumed a lot less and how this had a more or less dominant impact of their daily life. Some of them really had to change the way they lived in order to cope with this philosophy while others didn't have to do much...We are all different, it just becomes more visible sometimes.

Talking about different people and happenings, I am strongly considering to skip Christmas this year, simply since I don't feel like "celebrating" it. Once upon a time when I was growing up I guess that Christmas had some kind of meaning for me, now I feel like it has somehow disappeared. Perhaps it is this that they start selling Christmas stuff already in September (?!?!), that they play Christmas music in October and so on - especially since Christmas do not have a religious meaning for me. I am really the black sheep of my family when it comes to religion!

Sleep is essential, thinking about skipping Christmas is not => moi is off to bed.

Cosmos, the scientific study

Every now and then you get an envelope with some papers having the phrase "you have been chosen to be part of a scientific study regarding...". Sometimes interesting stuff, sometimes not.

Today I got my new VISA card (replacing the one the ATM claimed to have kept, even though I held it in my hand) and one of these envelopes. So now I am to be part of Cosmos (Swedish link), a study regarding cellphones (and other wireless devices too as it seems) and possible connections between them and different health problems such as cancer, regular headache, problems with sleeping etc.

I usually get quite annoyed by these studies. The people handling them usually send loads of papers and harass you in order to get your replies now-now-now, even if you tell them that you don't wish to be part of their study. Since you do have that option, to say "no thanks, I am not interested in participating".

But every now and then I still feel like I can give a contribution, participating in this Cosmos study is one of them. It concerns relevant technology and the effects from using it. I rather support this type of research than some other research I've been offered to contribute to by answering hundreds of questions!

Life, life...

randomly - 25 November 2008

So what can I possibly come up with today?

It stopped snowing/being stormy outside, after 35 hours or so...Really nice now. It's white and no longer that horrible, a bit slippery though. When I grew up I disliked the snow and the winter in general. Perhaps since it sometimes limited my ability of being outside when I wanted too - when it's -15° & snowing heavily then you do consider to stay inside unless you have to go out. Additionally I think that the fact that my mother doesn't like snow may have somehow "spread" to both me and my sister, social heritage. Weird stuff.
Nowadays I don't mind that much. I still can not say that I love snow and that I jump up and down being happy when it arrives every year but I can cope with it and even sometimes enjoy the feeling of fresh snow between my shoes and the ground I walk upon.

Talking about snow and family. My sister and G arrives to S sometime around the 17 December, that is early, a lot earlier than what they usually do when they spend Christmas in Sweden! :)

Anyway, enough of blah blah now. I should learn to sleep sometime too I guess.

yet another Sunday

Weeks are flying by. Don't know why but I got "Sunday bloody Sunday" on my mind since some hours. Weird since this Sunday has, all in all, not been that bad.

I am still remarkably restless and annoyed though, guess it will pass, eventually.

*tick-tack tick-tack*

22 November 2008

Random Friday in November

Bank app is finally working again, days are getting shorter, the snow is falling, the temperature is dropping, houses still being renovated, father still in waiting line for surgery, list of things to do is still growing...

"och jag som en gång sålde själen för att vara
att vara med om just sådannahära stunder
jag ångrar ingenting
men tiden kommer när man ska betala
innan allt försvinner, försvinner"

Bo Kaspers Orkester

sketching/drawing kit

Stumbled upon parts of my sketching/drawing kit (read: loads of papers, pens, pencils, graphite sticks) today! Been missing for a while, wondering why these particular ones were doing in a suitcase...Anyway, nice nice!

"surviving is not enough..."

+2.1° *brr*

Why is that people go off doing something really stupid and then complain loudly when they face the consequences of their actions? I wonder, I wonder. Life. We live, we die.

"Surviving is not enough, you have to live as well."

the latest member of our family of cars

replacing the red one that got crashed...

déjà vu: sleepless nights?

Sleepless.
The room is dark.
The window is open.
The night is pitch-black.
I hear nothing.
As if the first snow would have covered the ground.
You know.
The snow that absorbs all the noise.
Making the nights silent.
Déjà vu.
Suddenly thinking about Kiruna.
Does not happen often.
But it is in the middle of the night.
Same time as the nightly activities in Kiruna.
Kiruna.
The place where it all started.
Started to fall apart.
Changes.
Learnt so much.
Yet so little.
Want to go out.
Walking.
Running.
Screaming in the night.
Knowing that it would still be silent.
As it was back then.
Life goes on.

importance of...airbags

A small break in the timeout, I guess. What can I say, some people have some kind of higher power or so looking over them. My father is for sure one of those people.

Yesterday he was in a car accident. He could have been dead by now. He went straight off the road, instead of taking a curve, ended up between some birches next to the road. Crashing his car - that car will not be taken back into traffic again, that I can say after seeing it on my way to the hospital. We do not really know what happened, since my father can not remember anything from before when he suddenly were sitting in the car between the birches when the police arrived etc. So someone else thankfully made the call for the police and paramedics, they showed up (apparently quite fast), my father was put in an ambulance and sent to the hospital ASAP. Someone, not the police & co, called my uncle - him and his girlfriend came and picked me up [while I was waiting I made some phonecalls in order to prevent a chain of phonecalls later on - the place where my father lives is like that. If someone can not reach someone else they first drop by over to the house belonging to the one they are looking for and if they still can not reach the ones they are looking for after that, then they start making phonecalls, kind of like "I've been trying to reach xxx, have you seen him/her today?". This can be both annoying (if you just feel like not answering the phone for some hours, if you just want to be ALONE for a day or so) and good sometimes (if something really happens then people notice).] so that we could go all of us, in one car, to the hospital in order to find out more.

First we ended up at the emergency room, after that they sent us over to intensive care, where they then sent us to another floor where we finally found my father in a bed, slightly tired but without severe injuries - no broken bones, no internal injures after what they could see immediately etc. Airbags, airbags - good stuff, really good, what else can I say? So we spent some time with my father and then had a talk with the two doctors and a bunch of nurses, who all of them were to have a closer look at all the tests they took when he arrived, and decided that we should probably talk about things today instead of last night. So hospital later on today, AGAIN.

timeout!

Deal with some stuff, bury some ppl, attend some memorials, visit my father who's ill, leave the annoying stuff behind for a while. List is growing longer.

I need a break from pretty much everything,
catch you later ppl.

rain, rain and some more

It's still raining, can't believe it. Been like this for many hours now, for sure 20++ hours. Ok, rainy days come and go but usually it stops at some bloody moment during them. Not today. Been raining all the time, big drops or small drops. Or medium drops if such exist.

Remove the lovely rainbow & the flowers and you get a picture of how the sky looked today :(

Stuff that annoy me at the moment:

• people who try to control my life;
• people who try to tell me how to live my life;
• people who are impossible to get hold of;
• people who are not replying on emails;
  
• rain;
• html code;
• Internet Explorer;
• sleepless nights;
• timetable of train #42;
• all the pointless tv shows like Top Model, Idol, Stjärnor på is and So you think you can dance - since they make it damn impossible to catch up with people since it seems like EVERYONE except from me LOVE that shit;
• ...and then all the other things that I am too tired for adding to the list.
  

windy, so windy

Today is crazy, so windy. Yesterday was nice, rhubarb vodka is too. I am getting hungry. Just like that.

surströmmingsskiva

Tonight it's time for our yearly "surströmmingsskiva", the people from Härnösand should be arriving in couple of hours and then some hours after that it kicks off. Outdoors, of course. As every year. How else would you survive the smell of it???

Storm warnings have been given for this region for this afternoon/tonight too, not that windy yet though and no snow in sight. Was worse some years ago when it was snowing when we had this "surströmmingsskiva".

Wonder what the ones of us who do not eat animals get this year? Always a bit interesting.

I passed...

...the crazy exam!

R.I.P B-Å

I do not know what it is about guys born in 1982 and death.
I do know that yet another one of them is dead.

Cancer, overdoses, hangings, car accidents, fires - you name it. Seems to kill the ones we care about - even the young ones.

"Öppna ett fönster, ställ det på glänt."

R.I.P
B-Å

I do NOT appreciate...

...getting

• spam;
• chain letters;
• chain emails;
• chain sms messages;
• 18 sms messages from the same person in 12 minutes!

Hint hint hint...

20080922

*61*

20080920

*72*

got a new...

...cactus! Just love it.

From Archive: "how to..."

...fly to Schiphol, Amsterdam, the Netherlands. Take a train towards Leiden. Forget to get off the train there, reach Den Haag before realising it. Take the next train back to Leiden. Get off the train there (and not continue to Amsterdam by mistake) and manage to get on a bus to Noordwijk aan Zee.

Find the Mitchbi and get a room there. Drink too much Kwak. Forget your red pills back in Sweden. Visit the ESTEC medical center. Run around Katwijk looking for a pharmacy you know is somewhere there. Borrow money from your friend in order to pay for stuff. Share a small bed with the same friend. Go from being asleep to being on the bus in 5 minutes. Lose a jacket. Almost miss the bus when going to the airport. Get stuck on an airport in Copenhagen (!?!) on a travel from Amsterdam to Stockholm, 4 hours due to a snow storm...

All this in a bit less than 4 intense days. You can make this happen if you are like Axel were.

Miss you dear
R.I.P

From Archive: "...lose someone at the Flying Pig"

One of these stories I once archived.
From my old very "closed" blog, that is.

This story is also from when me and my Greek sis (Irini) met for the first time.
One December in Noordwijk, the Netherlands.

*** *** ***

Can you lose someone at the Flying Pig, Noordwijk aan Zee, the Netherlands?

In fact, you can. Trust me. If you haven't been there, at this particular the Flying Pig (also known as the Crazy Big to some of us) then just let us say that the place is really really small...

But - put in something like 70++ people in that small place and give it a try. Suddenly it is all possible! Also do throw in a Friday party with vodka shots (in plastic cups, not shot glasses), loads of beer & a bottle of Martini. Add a week almost without sleep and there you go.

I had the front door key. Irini had the room key. The other full set of keys were long gone. This with "one room, two sets of keys, three people" is back again!
End of the night, bar closes. People still around, drinking whatever they managed to order before the bar closed. We suddenly decide that it's time to go home, flights are leaving early next morning. I leave for getting my jacket. Irini talks with some people. Then we didn't really manage to find each others again. Ended up with us leaving separately.
Irini without key to the house, she did find some others that could let her in though.
I left with some other people, were still talking to them, being halfway to the hotel, when Irini managed to get hold of me on the phone...

Our situation with the keys made this entire trip to the NL even more interesting. A lot of doors are (surprise!) locked in the middle of the night and people are (surprise!) sleeping...

*lala-la-la*

By some reason, after some more of these evenings, I always get a key of my own when I stay at the Mitchbi.

Mark: sorry for all the nights we had to no other choice than to wake you up in the middle of the night (at 2:30 or so) in order to get back into the hotel...

From Archive: "when me and my Greek sis met..."

One of these stories I once archived.
From my old very "closed" blog, that is.

This story is from when me and my Greek sis (Irini) met for the first time.
One December in Noordwijk, the Netherlands.

*** *** ***

Irini: "So when does your flight land? Perhaps we can meet at the airport and go to Noordwijk together?"
Me: "Half past twelve or so."
Irini: "Your time or Dutch time?"
Me: "Dutch time is my time too."
Irini: "Really? Okok, then I'll wait for you guys!"

In fact this conversation took place couple of days before we went there, we did meet at the airport (the Greek and the three Swedish). Managed to get ourselves to Noordwijk aan Zee and the Mitchbi, our home for the week. Found out that Irene and I were to share room during the week. Room number 1 at Nora's. One room. Two sets of keys. Three people. Can you see the problems coming...?
Sunday. Irini and I took the beds next to each others, they were like 10-15 cm apart...On the bathroom list for the next morning were: me, Irini and then Annelie (our roomie).

"Rrrrring" - Monday morning. Irini's phone goes off. She turns it off and then gently hits me couple of times on the arm, saying something like "Weren't you supposed to get up before me? What happened with your alarm?"

So I pick up my phone, puts it back down again and mumbles something like "It's one more hour until we have to get up, let's get back to sleep again!". Irene replied something in line with "Shit, I forgot to change the time on my cellphone! It's still having Greek time!!!"

Time zones...what else can we say? Lovely thing, especially when you kind of forget that you are living in different ones.

From Archive: "I think I will take a dead sheep, ..."

One of these stories I once archived.
From my old very "closed" blog, that is.

This "story" has its origin from back when me and my "Greek sis" (Irini) first met over in Noordwijk one lovely December some years ago.

(Irini: remember Ola? The Swedish guy who were also there at this moment. I randomly ran into him today. At IKEA of all places...)

*** *** ***

"Jag tror jag ska ta ett dött får i en barnvagn och gå längs stranden!"

freely translated into

"I think I will take a dead sheep, put it in a perambulator and then walk along the beach with it!"

So what does this really come from...? Well, see below.

It happened one evening that we went for Kwak & spare ribs (or Kwak & mushroom omelet if you don't eat dead animals) at De Wels, i.e. we had what's now formally known as a "Kwak evening".
At this very moment it was 5 Swedes, 1 Greek & 1 Hungarian "attending"...We got our Kwaks. We got our food. We ate. We drank. We talked. We laughed. By the end of the evening, when we were to leave this place some of us were saying that we just had to go back to the hotel in order to finish some stuff for the next day (Irini: don't we all remember that good old EPS TS!?!?!). Anyway, then one of the guys turns to another and asks (of course in Swedish...) something in line with "...and you, are you joining us to the pub for some more beer or are you joining them back to the hotel being boring, working?"

...and the guy replies "Jag tror jag ska ta ett dött får i en barnvagn och gå längs stranden!" and all of us 5 Swedes started laughing as if we were crazy. We just couldn't stop either...Next to us the Greek and the Hungarian were just staring at us as if we were all mad! Once we eventually managed to stop laughing, we were to explain to them what it was we had been laughing at. Right, good luck! Unfortunately, even if you translate it then you can not turn back time and get the same "moment of opportunity" back - hence it didn't really sound that fun anymore...

Crazy times, crazy times...

colourful leaves

Autumn is coming,
summer is leaving.
Sparkling colours to be found
everywhere.

time is...running

Sunday again, shit. Time must be running since it feels like it was Sunday just yesterday :s

So what's new? Not that much, I think. We sold a car today. My father is at the hospital since some days (nothing too serious though), looks like he's staying there for some more days too (observations or so). I took a bunch of pictures yesterday. Autumn is kind of here, leaves start being yellow/orange & mushrooms are found everywhere.

Apples & plums need to be taken care of soon, they start falling off the trees. Apple wine is on its way. Evenings are dark - early! Temperature drops rapidly - 6 degrees (of separation? Perhaps not.) now, was 12 or so earlier today! *brr*

*restless as every year by the end of summer*

internationella självmordsdagen - huh?

"Den 10 september är den internationella självmordsdagen."


Jaha?!?
Där ser man. Vad ska man säga om det uttalandet egentligen?

visit in Luleå 2008

So I made it, I am back in Sundsvall. After two weeks of absence, this city is no longer that bad...Luleå wasn't that bad either.

*big thank you to the ppl who survived having me as a guest these days*

A well known sight, Regnbågsallén at LTU, don't know how many times we have walked along this one. Several times each day for years...In rain, in sunshine, in snowstorms. Dressed in funny clothes, dressed in fancy clothes, dressed in warm clothes, barely dressed at all...Crazy moments in a student's life...

Of course, Babsan. Who could forget her? This lovely cute little animal. Miska's "love". So charming. She apparently loves bags too, to climb into them and so on. If the bag is not open so that she can get into it - then she eats her way into them. I haven't really thought that much about having rats/mice as pets before. Perhaps since I love snakes and have had some of those as pets. Snakes eats rats/mice so...hmm.




Isn't this a lovely sight? A lot of resistors and a red LED. Took this picture over at the xp-el room in the A building. I did end up with spending some time at this place too, how strange. Can not see why...perhaps it's like Irini and I said the other day when we were talking "when you have been studying electronics for some time then you feel attracted to these things :P ". Perhaps...




Spent an afternoon in the city. Made a visit to one of the four icebreakers that currently resides in Luleå. Really cool thing this heavy large boat. With the help of these, other boats/ships can get through even in winter when the ice is thick. We got to see quite a lot of it (bridge, engine rooms, sauna, dinner room etc) , during our more than 1 hour long tour. Coooooool.








A fountain with foam. As every year during the welcoming period. Perhaps they should learn the lesson of using yes next time. Yes creates a lot more foam and if you want to make it even more "fun" you can put in some colouring substance so that you get red or green foam (yellow, blue works too). Ehrm, may have been so that we did that some years ago too. A lot of red foam. Everywhere. Ooops. Not that fun to clean up though...

still in Luleå...

Isn't she just sooooo cute? Babsan is her name and I paid her and her owner a visit yesterday. Soooo nice.

*tnx Mi*

...and well, I am still in Luleå but leaving later today/tonight. Will probably continue living in a suitcase for nearly another week though (just because I love it soooo much, right)!
I should be heading towards university now, try to get hold of that man. Then call Mi again and see if we can get another fika (is there a more perfect word for this?) before I head into the city in order to do some random stuff before leaving this city again.

*lala-la-lala-la-la*

black? red? who knows?

Autumn is coming fast! Just hit my mind that it's mid August now and that I am supposed to go to Luleå again in less than one week! Exam is coming soon and studying does not work out well at the moment...bah. Sigh. Before I go to Luleå then I also got to head into the city some day and pick up my bike, just need to figure out where I left it first (and hope that it hasn't been stolen since this weekend).

Was completely soaked when I got back home today - it was, and still is, really really rainy outside. I don't like this very much. I know the physics behind it but I can still barely understand how this much water just can come from some whitegreyish clouds :P

*a physicist thinking about daily stuff*

Right, I am going to change my hair colour again, soon. Not going black this time, going red instead ;)

Going to be one year really really soon :(

numbers from 14 August 2008

41:39:7

Yesterday was quite a nice day, almost like this one:

10 August 2008

41:19:7

would you care for a...duck?

From the annual duck race. In short, you grab a bunch of ducks, put them in a large net, then release them and watch them race...

candle for tibet

kålrabbi?

Dropped by the mountain with Annica & Gilbert today, made it just before the rain! Found this kind of cute plant in one of the gardens where they grow a bunch of vegetables and stuff in sand. Don't know if I would like to eat it though...

sockervadd & popcorn?

Quite awful if you ask me =>

Trenter: Dvärgarna

Actually my sisters book, bought at a bookshop focused on old (and sometimes rare) books, soon on its way to Germany.

A pretty typical Trenter though; Harry Friberg, Vesper Johnson, Stockholm back in the early 60's and so on.

anyone up for some...rum?

You can easily get my share too, way too much of "vanilla" for me...not to mention my "relationship" with rum.

*oh-la-la-la*

20080804 - 44:16:01

Numbers of today are
"44:16:01".

I bow for the creative ones - Axel Peemöller

I really like creative minds.
I really like creative solutions.

One exists at
Eureka Tower Carpark
Check it out here!

Vikingtoys anyone?

I somehow feel a bit "playful" (whatever that means) at the moment.

Sky appears grey, heavy clouds outside of the house. Rain falling down. Red roses as a contrast towards the green grass. Neighbours preparing a barbecue in the rain. Dogs running around. Cup of tea on the table, brown bird sitting next to it just before taking off.


*lala-la-la-la*

lalala-la-la shadowman

Crazy as we are, we saw some old episodes of Twilight Zone last night - I hadn't seen these specific episodes in ages! Gosh, things related to how tv shows and similar are being produced have changed quite a lot the past couple of decades! Quality, methods yadayada!
Anyway, the episodes were quite entertaining even though they were not close to how they appeared the very first time I saw them!

*twilight zone tune in background* ;)

"I am the Shadowman, and I will never harm the person under whose bed I live."

So, do you have a shadowman living underneath your bed?

allergic reactions - 2008 edition

They really suck. I am not used to noticing anything at this time of year, my previous summers up in Luleå, where everything grows & blooms later, have spoiled me. There I usually just had some days in August that was troubling me. Now, being 500++ km to the south...it sucks.

*starting to eat medicine tomorrow in order to get rid of this*

*lala-la-la*

evenings getting dark, again :(

Can't really believe it but the evenings start to be dark again. Just noticed that it's before midnight and slightly dark + that they have turned on the streetlamps again!!! Come on - it's July, not September!!! What happened with our lovely summer nights?

"summer dreams ripped at the seams, but oh those summer nights"

(by Warren Casey & Jim Jacobs,
single released in 1978)

Långviken from its good side

Looks relaxing, doesn't it? Calm in some way.
Space to think, space to do almost whatever you want without having other people running around your feet. Swedish nature from its good side, almost makes me forget about the dreadful (?) winter.

I feel like going back for a swim, or just to relax some more. Or just to "be". Who knows?


*lala-la-lala-la-la-la*

Sweet little alpaca

Saw this one and its family on the way home from nowhere yesterday. Not really common animals over here in Sweden ;)

So sweet with those big dark eyes. Who can resist such thing? (for sure some ppl, but still...)

och nästa läsprojekt är...

Ingen som helst aning om vad det är för något,
eller om jag ens kommer att gilla den.
Det visar sig dock snart ;)

Götheborg

Went to see when Götheborg arrived today.
Quite nice despite some minor things.

More pictures found here.

another week has passed...AGAIN

Yet another week, almost. Some more emails have been exchanged. Seems like I will have to wait with this "plan of mine" until next round of applications. It's too late for this round - as I have suspected all along but it was worth a try :( 

Guess I will survive even if this adds approximately another 6 months to the process ;)

another step along the way

Halfway there, or perhaps a bit less BUT at least finally moving into a good direction again after being lost in the dark & unknown for I don't know how long time. First steps of the "application procedure" are taken - now I only wait for them to reply. Again. Then the next step. Just like earlier today.

All of this due to one of those "suddenly you wake up one day and realise that 'life' is not what you want it to be anymore" moments.

"soon as in my soon? or soon as in a regular soon? or soon-soon?"
(couldn't have said it better myself)

FRApedia.se

Found this one, check the links below for more info.

"en wiki för alla som inte vill bli avlyssnade av FRA"
("a wiki for concerned citizens who have no desire of being eavesdropped by the Swedish National Defence Radio Establishment (FRA)")

in Swedish FRApedia
(in English FRApedia)

tea at IKEA

So I dropped by IKEA and the shopping area around it with some friends. What a hysterical place...

Haven't been there for ages and ages and since last visit they had managed to put up some new buildings, opened loads of new shops and rearranged the old ones. One thing remains though - the caravans that come during the summer!

<= This is what I had, some black tea.

This is what the others had,

things with animals on... =>

Matti Kallionen - The beautiful robot

The "new" harbour currently hosts a piece of art (see the picture) called "The beautiful robot" by Matti Kallionen. This is a piece of art that with its strong colours creates a "break" in the natural harbour area that without this gives quite a grey impression with stones, concrete & wood.

Charming in some way.

the "FRA law"

In parallel to the (damn) football game (Sweden-Russia) of tonight the FRA law was approved by the Swedish Parliament (numbers were 143-138).

Ehrm. NO further comments.

For me, this is a damn odd city name:

Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch



Wales, where else? :)

wild flowers...

...today is apparently "de vilda blommornas dag", perhaps best translated into "the day dedicated to wild flowers", over here.


Quite nice initiative if I may say so. I like flowers, especially wild ones (nature's perfection instead of a gardener's). Got plenty in the jungle called garden over here ;)

Beowulf

"Beowulf - an old English epic poem celebrating the legendary Scandinavian hero Beowulf. Generally dated to the 8th century, it was the first major poem in a European vernacular language and is the only complete Germanic epic that survives. It describes Beowulf's killing of the water monster Grendel and its mother and his death in combat with a dragon, and includes both pagan and Christian elements."

More about "Beowulf"


Charming in some way.

San recommends...

...Jevgenij Zamjatin - A story about the most important thing

random citylife

So I did call him. Randomly.

Should go and fetch my "snailmail".

:)

<= "those were the days of..."

Exhibition 17-18th May 2008

Went to another exhibition today. Interesting indeed even though I got this feeling of that they had pushed a lot together on too little space...

Mer förvirrad än vanligtvis. Tror jag.

"Jag trivs bäst i öppna landskap, nära havet vill jag bo."

Ulf Lundell

wtf - funeral broadcasted live

*boycotting funerals broadcasted live*

Tomorrow is the moment for the funeral to be held AND to be live broadcasted on TV at the same time!

What the H*** is wrong with people when they broadcast a funeral of a private person LIVE on TV?!? I should also continue with "...and what is wrong with the people watching it?!?" - since someone will watch it. How sick isn't that? A bunch of people watching a funeral of a person they did not know, never met, never heard of before she went missing and then was found murdered!

***
It is NOT the first time someone murders a child. It is NOT the last time it happens either.
Shall this with a live funeral happen each time someone gets killed? Maybe someone should start a "live funeral channel" on tv so that people can watch these things whenever they feel like it?
***

Would the very same people be as happy if someone requests that the funeral of a homeless man, who also got killed, is broadcasted live on TV? Would they be watching it?

I DOUBT IT.

{ tusen bitar }

Heard approximately half of this song today, on the radio while we were driving back home...brought back some good/bad memories.

Tusen bitar - Björn Afzelius

Det sägs att ovan molnen är himlen alltid blå,
men det kan va svårt att tro när man inte ser den.
Och det sägs att efter regnet kommer solen fram igen,
men det hjälper sällan dom som har blitt våta.

För när vännerna försvinner, eller kärleken tar slut,
ser man allt med lite andra ögon.
Man övar sig, och långsamt blir man bättre på att se
skillnad mellan sanningar och lögner.

Allting kan gå itu, men ett hjärta kan gå i tusen bitar.
Säger du att du är min vän så är du kanske det.
Allting kan gå itu, men ett hjärta kan gå i tusen bitar.
Säger du att du är min vän så är du kanske det.

Det sägs att det finns alltid nånting bra i det som sker,
och tron är ofta den som ger oss styrka.
Ja, man säger mycket, men man vet så lite om sig själv
när ångesten och ensamheten kommer.

För när vännerna försvinner, eller kärleken tar slut,
ser man allt med lite andra ögon.
Så man övar sig, och långsamt blir man bättre på att se
skillnad mellan sanningar och lögner.

Allting kan gå itu, men mitt hjärta kan gå i tusen bitar.
Säger du att du är min vän så är du kanske det.

La - la - la - la - aaa.

Allting kan gå itu, men mitt hjärta kan gå i tusen bitar.
Säger du att du är min vän så är du kanske det.

La - la - la - la - aaa.

Oh allting kan gå itu, men mitt hjärta kan gå i tusen bitar.
Säger du att du är min vän så är du säkert det.

Would you care for a cup of tea?

It is green. It is simple. It is old. It is one of my favourites. I almost use it on a daily manner :)

thieves

Bloody thieves. 

Someone broke into one of our summer houses, really sucks. I will probably be going there early on Thursday to check more carefully. Probably needs some kind of cleaning up actions.

3 May - World Press Freedom Day

3 May each year - World Press Freedom Day

This year it says: "The Olympic Challenge: Free the Press in China!"

Why wasn't I surprised?

Kaos von Linné...

...is a nice but a bit odd exhibition. It is simply about chaos, order and their relation in our daily life. In addition to this it reflects a lot of the ideas that Carl von Linné had and introduced within the botanic world. If you have a chance to go and see this one, do so. Took this picture of the exhibition poster.

Campaign - "Cultures on my street"

I was randomly visiting some pages today and through one of them I found out about the campaign called "Cultures on my street" actually being a photo competition open to all EU residents. You can find the link to its page here.

I might even participate.

Will you?

Lindt Excellence Chili :)

The combination of chocolate and chili is kind of a nice. I haven't really thought about it before - maybe since I usually don't like chocolate that much :)

...but today we got some of this from Lindt and it was surprisingly nice.

Jenny Lexander & Håkan Ludwigson

These two have some really nice stuff in their portfolios. Adorable. What else can I say?

Jenny Lexander - Born in 1976, Sweden - http://www.lexander.se
Håkan Ludwigson - Born in 1948, Sweden - http://www.ludwigson.net

gnocchi

Surprise! I (who do not like cooking that much at all) did some potato based gnocchi today, from scratch. The one person who saw this happen said that I have to write this down...

Allow me call this experiment a bit interesting, the recipe I used was a bit odd (must however be some "Swedish version of gnocchi" since the ones I made in Italy with the Italians were not exactly like this) but was working after all - the instructions on how to actually cook them was a completely different thing:

• Follow the instructions that comes with the recipe -> you get some really odd gnocchi that don't look or taste like gnocchi;
• Follow your "instinct" -> gnocchi will be ok.

Maybe I need to take some kind of cooking class or something that makes me enjoy cooking more, I usually find it extremely boring!

What is wrong when...

...my students being 14-15 don't know if 1/3 is bigger or smaller than 1/7? Or when they say that 3.4749 has a higher value than 54.1 just because the first number has a higher number of digits involved? Or when they grab a calculator and really need it in order to determine that 5x20=100?


These were some of the things I asked myself back some years ago when I faced this problem for the first time - while I tried to teach. Now, some years later I can still ask myself the same questions. The individuals have changed but the situation is still pretty much the same. Something really is wrong, even if some people try to get away from realising this. As long as they decide to close their eyes for this then the situation will stay the same.


I am usually trying to do something about this. Each time I teach I try to get away from ending up in the situation of "ok, open the books and start doing the exercises there without really understanding why you do it".
I am also not happy with my students using calculators during the time they do their exercises unless the exercises require the use of them.
The calculator is a really nice tool if you use it in an appropriate way. If you use it the wrong way you more or less end up in the situation above, when people can not say that 5x20=100...and I can tell you that a lot of the young people in the world has already reached this state in which they can no longer use their own brain to figure things out.


So why did I start thinking about this again? It is simple - I ran into two 14 year old girls the other day (I had these two in a geometry class some weeks ago...). Now they were really trying to figure out what they would have to pay if they bought this bag they were looking, currently having a 10% discount. So imagine the two of them standing there with a cell phone each, trying to solve this "if I take away 10% of the original price, how much do I still have to pay?" by simply using the calculator that comes with the phone!

It really made me think again and ask myself
"what is wrong with this world if this has to happen?"

In Sweden it is legal to...

...sell sexual services, but not legal to buy or even try to buy them.

How do these two worlds meet? *just asking*

korn : life : misc

got flashbacks from old times today when I heard a song from Korn

life
is sometimes like a tale
but
only if we allow it

we are going to make it this time

packing again

Visiting my father. Skiing. Relaxing. Meet some friends and family. Go to the Netherlands again.

Ok - so that is what I am up to for the rest of the month. 

What are YOU going to do?

Paperwork is:

"really boring but sometimes necessary"

Picked up my mail yesterday, gosh so many papers. Gone through most of it now, going to finish the rest tonight, got to do some other stuff now too.

We live in a...

...materialistic world and I don't think it is good for us. I know that it is not good for me, it makes me feel weird in some way. Most of all, it does not make me happy.

Have more or less been at this place for 6 months now, time passes so fast. This is the amount of time it took before I even tried to "move in". I still haven't unpacked one of my suitcases since last time I moved and I doubt that I ever will. I will most likely just throw away everything in it. Not everything is in boxes anymore around here and not everything is in a complete mess either, it is now more of an organised chaos. This place still does not feel like home either and honestly don't think it ever will.

To summarise, based upon the experience gained today:

I got too much stuff and need to get rid of some.

***^^^***

Life is too short. Shit happens and then you move on.

*thanks my dear*

Midvinter - Tomas Tranströmer

I like it, even if it may be a bit weird...

"Midvinter.

Ett blått sken

strömmar ut från mina kläder.

Midvinter.

Klirrande tamburiner av is.

Jag sluter ögonen.

Det finns en ljudlös spricka där döda

smugglas över gränsen."

1 done - about 7 to go

All well, just feel like a drug addict or so...now let the weeks pass by.

Fooooooood - or so

For the ones who have asked...

rain & future appointments at the hospital

Today has really been a dull day. Took this picture yesterday before it started raining...Rain rain and some more rain, think that is has for sure rained the entire day today. From early morning until now. Today was more like a day in September/October than one in March.

Life slowly moves on. Called the hospital (or more correctly the closest medical center, that happens to be located at the hospital) today, got a series of appointments over there now (approximately one per week for approximately 6-8 weeks). Going to be like a pincushion & feel a bit like crap again for a while, I guess. The positive is that it will, in the end, be good and not bad this time. So I will happily do this now before it gets worse :)

Going to clean up some of the mess before going to bed.

bye bye ESMO

It is always a matter of finding the appropriate moment.

Latest step of my let-me-get-rid-of-some-commitments-and-then-figure-out-what-I-really-want-to-do-with-my-life: I simply left the ESMO system engineering team the other day - meaning that I am currently not in Noordwijk, NL, attending the workshop running this week and I am not going to be around now when ESMO has officially moved from Phase A into Phase B1. Best wishes to the ones staying within the project, thank you for the good and the bad times we all shared. Take good care of the "baby". 

For me it is time to move on now.

...back

So I am back from Vienna and today is such a crappy day in general.

...more to come later on I guess.

From a train station in the middle of nowhere...

...ok I am not in Kiruna, even if we usually said it was "in the middle of nowhere surrounded by nothing", but I am on a train station waiting for my train to come/go this sunny day. Train will take me to Arlanda where I am supposed to catch up with Szabszi before we take our flight to Vienna (we ended up on the same flight without us even planning it...). 

Vienna, here I come.

Happy birthday Sonja!

My additional grandmother Sonja (or Soja as I used to call her when I was a baby), who happens to be my late grandmother's oldest sister, turns 88 today :) She is one of these old ladies with completely white hair who always seem to be around, know what to say and not to say. I so wish we were living closer to each others.

Rammstein - live aus Berlin

Was checking the loads of music files I have scattered on several computers/devices etc over here and stumbled on some live music from Rammstein (recorded in Berlin) that I haven't heard for a while so now it's on :)
I also found some more Winnerbäck that I barely remember that I had, might switch to listening to that in a while.

...and I should really do some more serious packing unless I want to end up doing the packing on Monday morning just before I leave. Been there, done that - not sure I want to repeat it :P

"...and I wait without you"

Life must go on, with or without you.

flame

getting really close to 6 months now...

...and I still miss him.

::: this one is for you Axel - Becoming Insane by Infected Mushroom :::

*saknar*

afraid of clowns?

I am not but I know some people who are not happy with clowns, don't want to have them around and so on. They are not the only ones as it seems, I stumbled across an article on telegraph.co.uk regarding this today --- check it out here :)

"runaway train never going back..."

"Bought a ticket for a runaway train

Like a madman laughin' at the rain

Little out of touch, little insane

Just easier than dealing with the pain"

This is what I did, maybe it was not that wise after all now when some time has passed and the effects are making themselves visible. However, done is done and nothing can reverse it.

förlåt --- ringer ikväll.

Ok?

Aan jezelf...

...ken je de helft van de wereld

How true isn't that?

Curly Sue

...a song from Takida, what can I say? I remember these guys from back when we were all in school.

another down, one less to go

*d-o-n-e*

To quote one of my "lost" friends (no name required):

"så brakade det helt ihop likt en spark på ett försvagat hus byggt på tändstickor. kvar ligger en enda hög av bråte mer lättantändligt än fnöske. i hörnet av grunden kan en svag glöd antyas och det är enbart vinden som avgör ödet."

"så nu vet du. det är vad jag tänker. det är vad jag tycker. det är vad jag vill. oavsett vad."

*s-a-k-n-a-r*

little friend -> cluttered mind

Can you believe what a year it's been? 

Are you still the same? 

Has your opinion changed?

My humble set of replies: 

yes

no

 yes 

Unexpectedly got a link to the song Little Friend from a really old friend of mine some hour ago by email. We haven't really had any close contact the past 7 years or so and while I was checking this song out again (haven't heard it in years and years) and reading the couple of lines of text in that email I came to think about how much the past two-three years have changed me, the way I think and the way I handle different stuff.

I am not really happy with all of these changes so I decided to do what I have been thinking about for a while -> change even more things in my life.

Time to cut off the things that doesn't make me happy anymore.

xxx

5th of February

It is early morning, sometime just before 5. I am awake and in my bed, in my room, next door to the kitchen. The room has one window, located to the right of the bed, there are roses below the window - of course covered with snow during this season.

I can see through the open door, across the hall, reaching as far as to the closed door to the other room. The light is on in there, can see it below the door.

Something woke me up - a ringing phone.

It is early morning on the 5th of February 1988 and my grandmother just passed away at an "early" age. It has been 20 years now and I am surprised that I still remember the details. Since I can still remember what the room (my room) looked like together with the rest of the apartment. 

Fine, you usually remember places you have lived in for quite some time - but: 

1) I was not that old back then; 

2) I moved a lot when I grew up (8 places in 9 years); 

3) I don't remember that much of the other places I stayed in.

*virtual candle for my long lost grandmother*

family names

Tricky business, this with family names.

my mother - Nilsson

my father - Näslund

my sister - Angermann

my brother - Söderberg

me myself - Forsman

...asking myself - how did this happen? Start to believe that we are collecting names. This has some cons sometimes:

• phone calls can be interesting - people never find numbers and they get confused by all the names;
• your snail mail is for sure lost every now and then since you can not put that many names on the mailbox;
• children in this position have a living hell in elementary school when forms are to be filled in and signed by one or both parents - names never match;
• all registers have multiple entries for your phone number, i.e. if someone uses the register to call doing some marketing related then you get one call for each entry...
• Try making a reservation for a "family event" - I can remember one of the times when "we" tried to have a "family dinner" at some place. Of course arriving in different cars from different locations, having some "additional" family members (girlfriends/boyfriends/husbands/wives/children) with us as well. We are kind of a distributed family. FUN. Four of us arrive and enter the place, the guy working there asks us if there is a reservation and if so in what name. This was followed by four of us looking at each others asking "who made the reservation? I did not this time". It all ended with us telling the guy "it is kind of a bigger group, around 25 or so". Have to admit that all of us laughed at this comment;
• ...

...and some pros:

• phone calls again - if you don't want to be found this with multiple entries can be good since people get confused and give up thinking that there has to be a mistake;
  
• snail mail - you tend to not get some post, some annoying things tend to disappear;
• you get the pleasure of seeing a surprised face when you try to explain these things to other people;
• people don't "associate" to your parents/brothers/sisters when they see/hear your name, i.e. you are not compared with them all the time;
• ...