Time to bury someone again

Heading to John's funeral :(

for him I bow

My good old father is way better than me when it comes to taking his own way through life.

Now he decided to cut the landline, he simply phoned the two (?!?!) companies in charge for providing it and said "cut it, I don't want it anymore". So he is living in the middle of nowhere, with the green forest around, he has no landline, not really any access to internet anymore either, the refuse collection only really works during summer/autumn, currently has no car (it has some problems with the fuel tank...) so he is using the tractor as car instead etc...

For all of this, I love my father since he takes his own way through life without caring that much about whatever the society think is normal or not. Still I also wonder - what's next? ;)

ännu en söndag, ännu en septemberdag

Och veckan har bara försvunnit, gårdagen försvann nästan innan jag noterade att det var lördag!
Idag är det söndag igen, jag borde städa igen (förstår inte alls hur det kan bli så rörigt så fort!?!). Borde tvätta igen (tvättade bara det högprioriterade när jag kom hem från Holland och resten väntar fortfarande - i hög), tänkte få det gjort igår men eftersom tvätta är tråkigt så hoppade jag liksom över det.

Moment tre som borde göras är en planering av kommande vecka - vad ska pluggas ungefär när + vad har jag på min genso-lista som ska vara klart när osv. Annars slutar det med ännu en vecka som den här, en massa tid försvinner.

Och naturligtvis skiner solen utanför huset, och jag insåg precis att det ligger ett tunt lager av löv på gräsmattan. Jag vet vad det innebär - snart är det höst på riktigt. Vilken konstig känsla det ger mig, känns som om sommaren precis började medan det i verkligheten är lite av ett "shit det är redan början av september!".

Det är som att vakna upp ur en dröm igen. Det är den här tiden på året när jag vanligtvis brukar fundera på vad jag egentligen gör med livet.

1 (B-Å), 2 (A), 3 (F) och 5 (P) år har gått :(

att sova - vad är det?

Flummigt. Japp, konsten att inte sova fastän man borde, den behärskar jag vid det här laget. Ganska väl. Kanske inte alldeles bra...?

A & G är här igen. Busy days. Ikväll stod det "besök hos R & L" på agendan. Imorgon står det "lite GENSO och lite besök hos draken som fyller år".  

Filosoferar på om jag ska stanna i T imorgon eller inte. Vill, men vet inte om jag hinner. Sista inlämning på söndag, har inte börjat skriva än. Egentliga frågan är om jag vill stanna i T när jag ändå kommer att behöva sitta instängd och läsa/skriva i säkert 10-20 timmar innan söndag? Hinner jag "njuta" av T? Bah. Får se hur det blir imorgon.

Gårdagens (tja, tisdagens) slutsats: "Stora delar av min mammas generation bor i hus med trädgård och allt mycket för att "det ska man", inte för att de älskar trädgårdar och så." Varför är det egentligen så?

allt och inget

Verkar vara lite sådär blandat idag. I allmänhet. Slavat över boken och hemuppgifterna, fortfarande intressant. Undrar varför jag inte läste den här kursen tidigare i livet? Kanske för att bara tanken kändes fel. Igår var det trädgårdsjobb som gällde, den är fortfarande som en djungel, kommer nog alltid att vara så. Nu ska jag ta och baka en frukt & nötkaka. Och ja - syster på väg hitåt, de lämnade Helsingborg imorse. Trevligt :)

yet another Thursday...

Surgery supposed to happen today was moved again. Wonder when it will finally will be kicking off?

Thursday again. I should really do something about my growing list of things to do (by some reason it tends to grow on Tuesdays/Thursdays). Perhaps I can manage to remove some items from it before the weekend...and spend the weekend doing something else than digging myself through it.

"Den som lever får se."

weekend project?

Saturday again. Where do the weeks go? Time runs so fast. Craaaazy. Slightly restless now. Still looking for a weekend project, need something else than "regular work" to devote my time to.

Project of visiting my father's place during next week is off. His surgery got scheduled again, guess I will visit him at the hospital instead. Once he gets out from hospital again, then I am escaping to his place for a visit though.

But for now - weekend project. Ideas anyone?

not to forget

Sonja has her birthday today. 89 years old now. Best additional grandmother ever.

why does everything happen at once?

Sonja has pneumonia. Considering that she is 88 and just went through a surgery, this is considered being quite bad. Doctor says she might not get home again :(

My father's surgery got moved again. He should have gone to the hospital today, gotten the surgery done tomorrow and then be getting home soon. Now it's moved until sometime end of month again and no one knows anything. AGAIN.

Ooh, Vienna approaching fast too.

"broder Kjell" är på besök från Sthlm

Låter ungefär som om han gett namn åt ett dansband eller är en munk av något slag. Inte är han min bror heller. Snarare plastfarbror om det är ett begrepp som existerar. Men broder Kjell kallas han ändå. Underligt.

Nu te.

comes a time, when you are...

The previous days have just passed by, don't know where they have gone. All of a sudden it's Thursday evening. And I feel completely brain-dead, as if I need to restart my brain. Or perhaps only sleep a bit more? But what can I do, I can not sleep more. Can not fall asleep earlier and can not sleep longer in the mornings. Stress? Perhaps.

I am so relieved, her surgery went well. My dear additional grandmother should now be ok and soon on her way back home again. Hopefully. My father's upcoming surgery on the other hand - don't ask.

"Comes a time,
when you're driftin'
Comes a time,
when you settle down"
(yep, that's Neil Young)

hospital mode?

Have somehow been in some hospital mode again.

My father has been at one hospital for two days again, should be on his way home again now though. Surgery currently scheduled for the 5th, unless it gets changed again. Today they spoke about perhaps moving it again and we are now really starting to ask how much longer he should be waiting!

Another hospital currently "keeps" my additional grandmother. The lovely white-haired lady who happens to be my grandmother's oldest sister and the one who became as a grandmother for me too when my real grandmother unexpectedly died, still being quite young, more than 20 years ago. I hope she will recover soon, and return to her little apartment and celebrate her upcoming 89th birthday :D

The word hospital starts to become a negative word for me...

Recent happenings

What's new? Good question. Time seems to rush away. Days. Nights. Days. Swooosh.
Among the happenings for the previous 7 days: baked some gingerbread cookies, made some "knäck", baked some other stuff, cooked a bunch of food, did a lot of cleaning up, sent a snailmail letter to NL, sold a bunch of pictures, spent some hours moving around a lot of snow, bought a book in Dutch etc.

A & G arrived today, really nice to see them again. Tomorrow will probably be devoted to some citylife, got some stuff to take care of (should write a note not to forget some stuff this time too, don't want to repeat yesterday again).

*lala-la-la*

commercial, non-commercial, minimised expenses, Christmas etc

After finishing up the Cosmos stuff for now - envelope waiting to be mailed back to them now - I also happened to come across another "do you have some minutes and feel like sharing your opinion with us?" thing. This 2nd was about how I look upon "commercial use" and "non-commercial use" - it's hosted by Creative Commons (the questionnaire can be found through this page) and is part of their current study of how people understand the term "non-commercial use".

I also did some random reading of material published by people who have by some reasons lived a life focused upon minimising their expenses and energy usage during a longer time. Quite interesting to see how these people "gave up" a lot, just focused upon the essential things, consumed a lot less and how this had a more or less dominant impact of their daily life. Some of them really had to change the way they lived in order to cope with this philosophy while others didn't have to do much...We are all different, it just becomes more visible sometimes.

Talking about different people and happenings, I am strongly considering to skip Christmas this year, simply since I don't feel like "celebrating" it. Once upon a time when I was growing up I guess that Christmas had some kind of meaning for me, now I feel like it has somehow disappeared. Perhaps it is this that they start selling Christmas stuff already in September (?!?!), that they play Christmas music in October and so on - especially since Christmas do not have a religious meaning for me. I am really the black sheep of my family when it comes to religion!

Sleep is essential, thinking about skipping Christmas is not => moi is off to bed.

randomly - 25 November 2008

So what can I possibly come up with today?

It stopped snowing/being stormy outside, after 35 hours or so...Really nice now. It's white and no longer that horrible, a bit slippery though. When I grew up I disliked the snow and the winter in general. Perhaps since it sometimes limited my ability of being outside when I wanted too - when it's -15° & snowing heavily then you do consider to stay inside unless you have to go out. Additionally I think that the fact that my mother doesn't like snow may have somehow "spread" to both me and my sister, social heritage. Weird stuff.
Nowadays I don't mind that much. I still can not say that I love snow and that I jump up and down being happy when it arrives every year but I can cope with it and even sometimes enjoy the feeling of fresh snow between my shoes and the ground I walk upon.

Talking about snow and family. My sister and G arrives to S sometime around the 17 December, that is early, a lot earlier than what they usually do when they spend Christmas in Sweden! :)

Anyway, enough of blah blah now. I should learn to sleep sometime too I guess.

the latest member of our family of cars

replacing the red one that got crashed...

surströmmingsskiva

Tonight it's time for our yearly "surströmmingsskiva", the people from Härnösand should be arriving in couple of hours and then some hours after that it kicks off. Outdoors, of course. As every year. How else would you survive the smell of it???

Storm warnings have been given for this region for this afternoon/tonight too, not that windy yet though and no snow in sight. Was worse some years ago when it was snowing when we had this "surströmmingsskiva".

Wonder what the ones of us who do not eat animals get this year? Always a bit interesting.

time is...running

Sunday again, shit. Time must be running since it feels like it was Sunday just yesterday :s

So what's new? Not that much, I think. We sold a car today. My father is at the hospital since some days (nothing too serious though), looks like he's staying there for some more days too (observations or so). I took a bunch of pictures yesterday. Autumn is kind of here, leaves start being yellow/orange & mushrooms are found everywhere.

Apples & plums need to be taken care of soon, they start falling off the trees. Apple wine is on its way. Evenings are dark - early! Temperature drops rapidly - 6 degrees (of separation? Perhaps not.) now, was 12 or so earlier today! *brr*

*restless as every year by the end of summer*

Happy birthday Sonja!

My additional grandmother Sonja (or Soja as I used to call her when I was a baby), who happens to be my late grandmother's oldest sister, turns 88 today :) She is one of these old ladies with completely white hair who always seem to be around, know what to say and not to say. I so wish we were living closer to each others.

5th of February

It is early morning, sometime just before 5. I am awake and in my bed, in my room, next door to the kitchen. The room has one window, located to the right of the bed, there are roses below the window - of course covered with snow during this season.

I can see through the open door, across the hall, reaching as far as to the closed door to the other room. The light is on in there, can see it below the door.

Something woke me up - a ringing phone.

It is early morning on the 5th of February 1988 and my grandmother just passed away at an "early" age. It has been 20 years now and I am surprised that I still remember the details. Since I can still remember what the room (my room) looked like together with the rest of the apartment. 

Fine, you usually remember places you have lived in for quite some time - but: 

1) I was not that old back then; 

2) I moved a lot when I grew up (8 places in 9 years); 

3) I don't remember that much of the other places I stayed in.

*virtual candle for my long lost grandmother*