should let go

He has been around, on and off, for quite some time now. It does not matter anymore. The past and the present tell me that i should let go this time. For real. Cut the strings and not go back. Not turn around. Just keep going and forget him.

Maybe one day we will find a way to be "friends only".

Keeping this up right now only makes both of us go crazy. Since that is what is happening, at least with me. I get annoyed. I feel pushed. I feel like crap. I feel like he is on my nerves all the time. I feel like I don't want to see him.
I have been avoiding him lately, can admit that, not without a reason though. Can not continue like this, it has to stop soon.

BUT - I somehow love him even though I hate him.

How can I both love and hate someone so much at the same time? I have to stop this before I start to hate myself for it.

I have to put an end to this since it is probably the best for both of us.

like a burning flame

It is like a burning flame, how can I love and hate someone this much at the same time? Maybe it is true, as people say, that these two things are really close.

Today has just been one of these days when you feel like putting a blanket over your head and forget all about everything.

Ooh, Vienna. Going there to (1) see some friends; (2) attend an infra ws; (3) have some fun; and (4) hopefully see something of Vienna itself.

new year - new mistakes?

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New year - new life? - new mistakes?
Who knows, let us find out.

...but first, let me "close" the "old" year.

2007 in short:

• Made a bunch of stupid mistakes (Sweden & NL);
• Some of my dearest friends killed themselves/died in accidents;
• Made five trips to the Netherlands;
• Met a lot of new people, found a few really good friends among them;
  
• Spent the summer in Luleå;
  
• Moved away from Luleå;
• Got released from my secretary duties;
  
• Joined the evil (?) forces of infra;
• "restarted" an open relationship;
• Got addicted to oranges;

...and so on!

Based upon this, what will happen during this year? New mistakes? New places to see? New things to explore? New people to meet? New people to become friends with? New people to ignore? New people to love? New people to hate? More friends to bury?

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