"bubble-ish life"?

Still think I am living in a bubble. I try to sleep when I am tired. I try to eat when I am hungry. I try to relax when I feel like I need to. I try to study and work when I am not doing anything else urgent.

Exam next week.

My body still thinks it belongs in another time zone. Lovely.

6 Dec 2009

Life in a bubble. That's what I feel like I have. Time is running so fast. I got so much more I wish to read before that next exam. Got so much more I want to do the next-coming two weeks. Got so much I want to do with my life in general. I keep hearing that everything has its time. This too. Life in a bubble. Wonderful.

feeling so free

Suddenly, tonight I feel so free.

Perhaps it's the lack of sleep from last night causing it, I do believe I should sleep before I go even more mad. Tomorrow is another day. New books to read. New people to meet. New challenges to face. New seconds, minutes and hours to experience.

*floating*

ngt så enkelt

Är helt frälst av Linus på linjen! Det kan man kalla barndomsminnen med klass ;)

Intressant att något så enkelt som en linje kan uppfattas som så roligt. Kanske är ett levande bevis för att vi egentligen inte behöver alla komplicerade saker vi tror oss behöva? :D

There is something with how the light shines upon colours, making things glow.

Autumn. What else?

*learning new stuff*

Oh, apparently I don't have to apply for the next course within my study programme, it's done automatically (they transfer the people from this course to the next one...). Interesting, so different from what they did at my old university where you had to apply for all courses throughout the entire study programme (except from the courses during your first semester).

Am currently slowly working myself through the books & everything else that I need to learn right now, before the exam in the beginning of next month. Should also soon need to start with the short essay (due 23rd or so)...Focus is set to different learning processes and the basic use of them - most of it feels like psychology though! ;)

*learning*

Time to bury someone again

Heading to John's funeral :(

Surprisingly I got two of the books for my next course today (library books though). Wow, they can be fast if they want to. I also found out that I get to keep them for 6 days longer than I expected, niiiiiice ;) Still need to start reading them next week though. Exam on Monday morning, new course starts couple of hours later...

Also managed to fill up my bus card with some money today, a nightmare if you ask me. At least it is if you haven't registered your card. I seldom use mine (only use it to get to uni when we have our "campus weeks") so I never registered mine since

1. you don't have to, it works perfectly well anyway;
   
2. I seriously don't like the way they handle the information they get during registration;
   
3. I don't like that they keep track of your travel history & link it to your profile (if you have a profile);
   
4. they keep the records for longer time than they have to keep them by law (twice as long in fact...).

Additionally their signs (at ticket offices etc) say that you have to show them your ID card before you can buy a ticket and/or fill up your card (you can no longer buy tickets using cash at the bus either, that I can understand since they had a lot of robberies). However they managed to not check my ID card as I filled up my card, goooooooood! ;) But jeeeeeez, this world is going mad. Soon we won't be able to go outside of the house without that f***ing ID card. I am so tired of the fact that they soon monitor every step you take :(

Yet another Tuesday...

...goes towards an end.

...aaaaand it is still the same old story. Yet another week has passed by and we are still waiting for some kind of reaction that is not (yet) coming: We waited from mid February to end of May, without getting what we asked for - so we moved on. We still haven't had any feedback with respect to that. Now we are once again sitting here, waiting for things to arrive. It has been yet another THREE weeks now, we still see nothing moving and we can no longer even get a short reply upon an email with some simple questions.

How hard can it really be to just click upon reply and at least send a short "I've got it, sorry but I am busy at the moment. I will get back to you as soon as I have some time for it"?

We have been waiting patiently, more or less, for years now. Question is really if we are soon stepping over the invisible line between what's still acceptable or not...? It's close, damn close. Hmm?

soooooo true!

"As for the shitty book, it SUCKS whenever you have to study from an absolutely SHITTY book. You're supposed to gain knowledge from a rectangle paper piece of shit which is actually partially responsible for the deforestation of the earth." (the Greek bat)

Damn, this is good. Respect.

Now, this is good: http://olofb.wordpress.com/2009/09/20/vadda-trafikdata/

[Lunch break = finding more interesting things to read/browse/share/etc when I really should be...eating?]

randomly...

Me: I am developing an allergy towards {xxx}, seriously
Her: i totally understand...
Me: soon I will start sneezing as I hear those two words + getting rashes if I come in contact with them physically
Her: in a while you'll start getting rashes even without physical contact, just by reading the words

:(

R.I.P John

Farbror John (som egentligen är min mormors bror och inte alls min farbror) har nu förlorat kampen både mot cancern och efterverkningarna av den :(

Varje besök hos John hade ett obligatoriskt kaffedrickande på schemat - till och med jag som vanligtvis INTE dricker kaffe drack kaffe - riktigt kaffe, ofta kokt på björkved, inte något kaffebryggarkaffeblask (som vissa skulle säga) ;)

Vem ska jag nu dricka kaffe med på altanen nere vid sjön?

VFU info [förra veckans...]

Förra veckan var jag på en sådan där informationsträff inför vår VFU som vi ska göra under utbildningstiden, och imorgon öppnar VFU-systemet där vi lämnar in våra önskemål om vilken "zon" (geografisk+nivå-inom-skolan) vi helst vill vara inom :)

Vi började träffen med att prata lite om vilka förväntningar vi studenter har på den kommande VFU som vi ska göra (tvåvägskommunikation, väldigt pedagogiskt!). Sedan fortsatte våra samordnare med att berätta vilka förväntningar de hade på oss samtidigt som de gav generell information om vart vi kan hitta mer information, blanketter och annat som vi kommer att behöva innan/under VFU-perioderna ("rektorsmöte", sekretesspapper osv).

AV-Media var även på besök och informerade om sin verksamhet, sina resurser och talade om vart vi kan hitta dem osv.

Mina egna förväntningar (i stora drag) på min VFU:

• Att se hur den teori som vi lär oss faktiskt tillämpas inom skolan, i klassrummet.
• Att särskilja skillnaderna i hur tillämpning sker mellan gymnasieskolan och grundskolans senare år.
• Att se hur pass mycket skolan faktiskt förändrats sedan 1) jag själv gick i skolan; och 2) jag arbetade inom skolan sist.
• Att få inspiration inför det examensarbete jag ska göra nästa år vid den här tiden.

for him I bow

My good old father is way better than me when it comes to taking his own way through life.

Now he decided to cut the landline, he simply phoned the two (?!?!) companies in charge for providing it and said "cut it, I don't want it anymore". So he is living in the middle of nowhere, with the green forest around, he has no landline, not really any access to internet anymore either, the refuse collection only really works during summer/autumn, currently has no car (it has some problems with the fuel tank...) so he is using the tractor as car instead etc...

For all of this, I love my father since he takes his own way through life without caring that much about whatever the society think is normal or not. Still I also wonder - what's next? ;)

Oh yes

Errare humanum est, sed perseverare diabolicum.

Forgive and forget, I forgive and forget.

gimme a forest!

Why do I have this feeling of that I would like to walk straight into a huge forest, and once I am there I would scream, scream and scream until everything feels better?

Funny thing is that I recently came across other people feeling the same, perhaps it's something in the air? ;)

"...and I scream from the top of my lungs"

thoughts about the future of our GENSO team

So, the future of GENSO is becoming more and more clear; they (read: ESA Edu) have now selected "a winning proposal" for the future. No names mentioned here, as I feel like they should have a chance to officially announce it themselves first...

The change for us (the team I am in) is that once our current contract ends (end of 2010) we are pretty much "out of the project" since we can not really see a future role involving us and our team (as the "winning proposal" covers our current work too). And I find it hard to believe that we will change focus since whatever we do now is what we know how to do, and also what we like to do.

So now, as time goes by we will at some point start a handover process, going to be really interesting to see how things proceed.

plan för imorgon [090909]

Att planera lite är bra. Speciellt om man försöker få lite mer struktur i livet.

• Sätta igång med läsningen av "Svensson, Lennart: Introduktion till pedagogik.".
• Luncha med Draken.
• Gå på VFU info.
• Skriva första utkast till min inlämningsuppgift; måste börja med att göra en mall antar jag (mina defaults för teckensnitt, fontstorlek etc stämmer inte med vad vi ska använda...).
• Jaga mina böcker som borde ha kommit vid det här laget (trycker posten på dem igen tro?).
  

(sedan kan man ju alltid revidera listan, men det känns bra att iaf ha en ambition...)

(genso)funderingar i allmänhet

Ibland frågar man sig själv varför man gör vissa saker.

Den senaste tiden har jag frågat mig själv väldigt ofta varför jag fortfarande är med i GENSO. Jag tror inte att jag egentligen har ett bra svar på den frågan, och jag tror att om det inte vore för ett visst kontrakt med K så skulle jag vid det här laget ha lämnat projektet.

Första officiella släppet av mjukvaran och nätverket är beräknad till den här månaden så att jag antar att vissa saker måste redas ut snart, kanske blir hela situationen generellt bättre efter en "uppstädning" - vem vet? Det man kan säga är att byråkratin inom denna internationella bransch är rent av hemsk, och det är en hel del inom projektet som jag helt enkelt inte tenderar att gilla. Trots det så sitter jag här fortfarande och får en del saker gjorda.

Men jag känner att i bakgrunden är det något som pyr, något som gång på gång nästan får det att rinna över. Tror inte att en sådan här "miljö" är hållbar i längden.

Vissa saker gör man för att man vill, andra för att man måste.

i en bubbla?

Insett att jag inte läst tidningar/sett på nyheter sedan innan Holland (så mkt att bearbeta, så lite tid att göra det). Har dock påbörjat läsningen av de 1200++ som ska vara klara innan tentan om mindre än en månad (så jag antar att jag gjort något "vettigt" med tiden iaf).

Är det det här man kallar "att leva i en bubbla" tro?

ännu en söndag, ännu en septemberdag

Och veckan har bara försvunnit, gårdagen försvann nästan innan jag noterade att det var lördag!
Idag är det söndag igen, jag borde städa igen (förstår inte alls hur det kan bli så rörigt så fort!?!). Borde tvätta igen (tvättade bara det högprioriterade när jag kom hem från Holland och resten väntar fortfarande - i hög), tänkte få det gjort igår men eftersom tvätta är tråkigt så hoppade jag liksom över det.

Moment tre som borde göras är en planering av kommande vecka - vad ska pluggas ungefär när + vad har jag på min genso-lista som ska vara klart när osv. Annars slutar det med ännu en vecka som den här, en massa tid försvinner.

Och naturligtvis skiner solen utanför huset, och jag insåg precis att det ligger ett tunt lager av löv på gräsmattan. Jag vet vad det innebär - snart är det höst på riktigt. Vilken konstig känsla det ger mig, känns som om sommaren precis började medan det i verkligheten är lite av ett "shit det är redan början av september!".

Det är som att vakna upp ur en dröm igen. Det är den här tiden på året när jag vanligtvis brukar fundera på vad jag egentligen gör med livet.

1 (B-Å), 2 (A), 3 (F) och 5 (P) år har gått :(

post .nl 2009

Ever since I got back from .nl (and that genso workshop) I feel like I am living in a greyzone - perhaps I do? Or it might just be the lack of sleep talking, should probably try to catch up on that during the upcoming weekend...

Busy week right now, started studying again, pedagogy. Lots of new stuff in a discipline I barely have been close to before...It also made me realise that I have to start writing more stuff in Swedish again, my skills in written Swedish sucks bigtime by now as I even have problems taking notes in Swedish during the lectures :(
So perhaps I will write down my experiences/thoughts from/about my new university some day, just in order to practise writing in Swedish...

populärvetenskaplig föreläsning: enterprise 2.0 :)

Spenderade det mesta av lunchen idag med att besöka en så kallad populärvetenskaplig föreläsning, Enterprise 2.0 - facebook och twitter hos företagen, av Erik Borglund. Snubblade över info om att den skulle hållas idag, tänkte att det kan vara intressant.

Filmvisning, kort fakta & historik och tankar runt enterprise 2.0 avhandlades, bland annat gavs exempel på hur användning varit framgångsrik (t ex försäkringskassan) samt ledning i vilka frågor man bör ta ställning till innan användandet verkligen blir till nytta.

Intressant om man råkar vara "webmänniska" som dessutom använder en hel del av de sociala programvarorna (som fanns med på listan) både privat, inom studier och för lite jobb...

taking off

Sitting at Arlanda, once again heading to .nl (the BC!) :)

Ran into an old professor/teacher of mine (from Luleå), here at the airport. Small world. Did some random small talk with him about things happening at that university now, and about what we have been up to since last time we ran into each others (could it have been last year when I was in Luleå visiting some people?). I wonder, is this a common thing, or just a Luleå/LTU one? This that you somehow get to know your professors/teachers to such level that you randomly talk to them when you see them off-campus, years after your last course with them?

Bah. Hur segt får något bli/gå? Ibland undrar man hur folk tänker. Nåväl nåväl, förr eller senare (nästa vecka?) händer det kanske något.

sådana där kladdkakemuffins

2 ägg
2.5 dl socker
2 tsk vaniljsocker
1 krm salt
4 msk kakao
0.5tsk bakpulver
2 dl mjöl
100g smält smör

1. ägg + socker
2. vaniljsocker + salt + kakao + bakpulver
   
3. mjöl + margarin

~16st, 200°, ~10 min

Att-göra-innan-det-blir-för-stressigt:

• fixa biljetterna till .nl
• skriva sammanfattning
• kolla vektorgrafiken
• kolla ircmodul
• leta (& mod.?) anteckningarna om nya web
• leta (& mod.?) grafiken för nya web
• läsa på om vfu
• kolla vad jag måste fixa innan kursstart
• leta kursböcker?
  
• ...

...undrar om det någonsin tar slut?

yet another Tuesday

Aah it's Tuesday again, time is running so fast!

*tick-tack tick-tack*

Perhaps perhaps perhaps.

en sådan där enkel linsröra

gul lök
röda linser
grönsaksbuljong
chili
vitlök
svartpeppar (grovmald)

Hacka lök, fräs med linser. I med buljong, vitlök & chili. Koka så att linserna är klara. Släng på lite svartpeppar. Servera med ris eller pasta.

Done.

en sådan där pastagratäng

kokt pasta
gul lök
sojafärs
sojabönor
gröna ärtor
krossade tomater
tomatpuré
röd chili
vitlök
salt
svartpeppar
riven ost

Hacka löken & fräs den. Tillsätt sojafärs, sojabönor och ärtor. I med tomaterna & purén, hacka i chili & vitlök. Salta & peppra. Blanda i pastan, stoppa ner hela röran i en ugnsform. På med lite riven ost. In i ugnen, ca 200°, 15-20 minuter.

Done.

sysadminday2009

Long time, long seen. Fortfarande lite lätt less på vissa saker. Kanske lite mer AFK hjälper?

Happy sysadmin day ppl!

Åke(mannen) visited me the other days, on his way from the north to the south. Hadn't seen him in way too many years so it was a nice visit! *tnx*

Why not? We are not that old! ;)

Kvissle-Nolby-Prästbolet

*stupid allergic body*

Yesterday I spent a lovely sunny half day pretty much crawling upon old ruins, graves & fields over at the Kvissle-Nobly-Prästbolet area, checking all these things they built sometime 800-1000 years ago and then really realising that these things are still around and available to us almost without restrictions. Nice day if I just remove the moment when I ran into the 35++ number of cows, that were not that social and nice, in the middle of the forest! Well well, shit happens and then we move on.

It's that time of year, I guess.

So what's new?

I accepted it. A bit of new life & new ambitions coming up next then, yet another change of direction in life. Why do I keep ending up doing these? A bit restless perhaps? ;)

Hurt a finger today too, it's slightly blue now. Only since I tried to save a butterfly being way off from where it should be. Butterfly is still alive though, so I guess something went well!

Thunderstorm clouds of today were very nice.

beep beep

Started with an early morning. Then spent the day in the land of nowhere. Place where cellphones do not even work. Loads of mosquitoes. Roads where two cars barely can meet. Green trees. Blue sky. White fluffy clouds. Grey calm clouds. Black thunderous clouds. Loads of wild flowers. Picnic. Scent of forest. Scent of freshness.

Now some tea.

Nice. Happy.

I am in...

...accept or not?

That's _the_ question.

seeing "ghosts"?

I just saw a "ghost" (perhaps "something that can not be" would be a good replacement for the word "ghost" since I don't really believe that there is such thing).

Time stopped for a second or two. So this is how it feels.

"High on diesel and gasoline, psycho for drum machine
shaking their bits to the hits.
Drag acts, drug acts, suicides, in your dad's suits you hide
staining his name again.
Cracked up, stacked up, 22, psycho for sex and glue,
lost it to Bostik, yeah.
Shaved heads, rave heads, on the pill, got too much time to kill,
get into bands and gangs."

Sömnlös & lite GENSOjobb

Pysslat en del med GENSO de senaste två dagarna. Dels satt vi med våra framtida forum igår - hade lite lösenord- & verifikationsproblem till en början men till slut löste det sig! Artar sig, skulle jag säga. Satt även lite med hemsidan innan det spårade ur, finns lite oönskad sync mellan test och prod. miljö just nu, bör fixas till veckan innan mer kan göras :( Skrev lite dokumentation när jag ändå var i farten, vilket även gjorde att ett par öppna trådar kunde stängas. Dock öppnade jag tre nya så att i slutändan gick den delen nog plus/minus noll!

Idag blev det lite mer forum (måste ju testa funktionerna som finns innan vi kan släppa dem) och lite research för framtiden (mjukvarusläpp och sådant som ska komma inom ett par månader hos oss)! Även kollat igenom användarvillkoren för forumen, ändrat lite (lagt till & skrivit om) samt börjat preppa framtidens "aktiva utvecklare + oldies" lista. Inte så illa, klart bättre än inget alls!!! :)


Men nu - sova är bra har jag hört, bör nog testa snart. Borde försöka få tillbaka någon slags dygnsrytm. Känner att jag ligger ca 3-4 timmar ur fas nu.

"Technical Support, Bugs and Other Insects"

Seagulls, mosquitoes, traffic, sunshine, flies. Damn it, I can not sleep.

zzz...?

3am-ish

It is in the middle of the night and I am not sleeping. Why is that? I wonder, I wonder. I can hear the night traffic now, it is a lot less than during the day. Almost silent outside. In about two hours it will be all different as the morning rush starts. I can hear two birds singing outside of the window. The sun is pretty much up, it is full daylight outside.

I am not easily scared, been through way too much in life for that. But every now and then there is something/someone that/who gets me to seriously have a look at the world around me asking what we think that we are doing in/with it. Today this happened, again.

Like a leaf in the wind.

nonsens

Tittat på bröllopsbilder från prof's bröllop, riktigt trevligt. Självklara bilder på prof & Isabelle (hon hade förresten en riktigt fin klänning på sig) men även lite fina (stads & stenhus) bilder från Gumpoldskirchen! :)

Annars så är det mest huvudvärk här ikväll, och dags att dricka te och ha infrachatt (tänk så fort veckorna går)! Nonsens som sagt.

Nightly mission: white roses

Had a small nightly mission again. Currently not raining over here so things tend to get dry (sunny days too), so I felt like I had to give some of the plants in the garden some water. Just since I happen to want the lawn to stay green and the white roses to bloom even more! The red roses are...out of question this far :(

So around 00:30 I headed out. Approx. 14°, no wind & daylight (got to love these summer nights) - perfect!
Now I know that the white roses are soooooo going to stay alive for some more days, very nice since each time I open my window (happens a lot) I can scent them. Now, if only the room could become a bit cooler and the traffic outside of the house could vanish for some hours so that I could get some sleep! Why not shut down the road during nights? ;)

Happy. Me and my roses.

Shit, I am sleepy.

Midsummer. People generally escape from the city, gather themselves up somewhere in the green non-city environment. I think I will do the opposite this year and not escape, going to stay in the city.

I love my usual escape destination, love it as it usually is. It gives me time and space to think, without having a lot of people around, just having the ones I want to have around actually around. During midsummer that won't happen, as people who never ever sets their feet around that place during any of the other weeks of the year gather themselves up around there too. All of a sudden my escape destination is a crowded nightmare.

But then again. Who knows what I will do? It is midsummer. Ancient things we thought were forgotten are brought back and you never know what happens...Except from the usual rain, the mosquitoes, the way too drunk guy/girl you try to escape from, the dancing, the drinking, the eating, the late night swim in that lake, those memories from past years...

...and suddenly you wake up the next day!

Done. And done.

Application handed in. Now, let's wait. Again. For new things to happen, new things to experience.

Like a...leaf in the wind.

"I hear you calling and it's needles and pins (and pins)

I want to hurt you just to hear you screaming my name."

Gimme Friday back. Or something.

14 June 2009: déjà vu

If I was not as happy as I am, then I would be really sad now.

Experiencing some serious déjà vu - room is dark, window is open, sitting on the floor, can hear traffic outside, trees form dark shadows against a bright summer night sky, distant voices carried by the wind. Just like back then.

Röstat. För min rätt till ett privatliv. För när det verkligen gäller finns det inget viktigare.

Fred utan privatliv är nästan krig.

6 juni 2009

I am bored. So what can I do on this "National Day of Sweden", which also happens to be a public holiday? "Celebrating" is not an option for me, due to the fact that I don't feel like this day has a special meaning for me. It's just like a random day that someone once declared as being something special. Midsummer means more to me, somehow, it feels more "Swedish" than today does.

Had an overdose of football as I was young, so tonight I am running away from things as Sweden & Denmark play. Perhaps I can find something creative to do instead of watching a game in which grown up men run after a white/black ball on a green field? ;)

Oh, and tomorrow is election day over here. Time for us to vote and continue fighting for our freedom. And yes, I now know what/whom to vote upon.

juuuuune

It's Juuuuuuune, and that's nice (in a boring way too). Anyone who has yet another job to offer me?

I need some more activity. Seriously.

"soon as in my soon? or soon as in a regular soon? or soon-soon?"

I am soon to be done with my end-of-May list. Going to grab some food (without wine...) and then hopefully finishing things off! 

*lala-la-la*

att sova - vad är det?

Flummigt. Japp, konsten att inte sova fastän man borde, den behärskar jag vid det här laget. Ganska väl. Kanske inte alldeles bra...?

A & G är här igen. Busy days. Ikväll stod det "besök hos R & L" på agendan. Imorgon står det "lite GENSO och lite besök hos draken som fyller år".  

Filosoferar på om jag ska stanna i T imorgon eller inte. Vill, men vet inte om jag hinner. Sista inlämning på söndag, har inte börjat skriva än. Egentliga frågan är om jag vill stanna i T när jag ändå kommer att behöva sitta instängd och läsa/skriva i säkert 10-20 timmar innan söndag? Hinner jag "njuta" av T? Bah. Får se hur det blir imorgon.

Gårdagens (tja, tisdagens) slutsats: "Stora delar av min mammas generation bor i hus med trädgård och allt mycket för att "det ska man", inte för att de älskar trädgårdar och så." Varför är det egentligen så?

Looking for some appropriate graphics to be used within GENSO, again, almost done for now though. 

...and the number of items on the list is decreasing...tick-tack tick-tack!

hyperaktiv...naaa, bara lite ;)

Har jag varit/är i något slags hyperaktivt läge idag!

Vaknade alldeles för tidigt av något slags gnisslande ljud utifrån (E4:an passerar utanför fönstret så vad ska man säga?), strålande solsken som fick mig att studsa upp. Började med att plugga lite, hade ju ett par sidor kvar att läsa sedan igår...

Fortsatte med att laga en massa mat (stoppat 10++ lådor med färdiga portioner i frysen, vilket är bra att ha när jag snart hamnar i en jag-vill-inte-laga-mat period igen)! Efter det studsade jag vidare ett par varv i motionsspåret (rastlös som få!) innan jag avslutade och skickade in veckans hemuppgifter. Lyckades sedan lugna ner mig i säkert en timme innan jag hoppade upp igen - lagade mat till resten av huset!

Nudå? Lyssna på Janis Joplin :) Leta kort till draken kanske? Eller kanske ta någon annan punkt på den allt kortare att-göra-innan-maj-är-slut listan?

Känner mig lätt hyperaktiv idag.

_not_ jumping

As I was walking home tonight, sometime around midnight, after a small photo session, I passed over a bridge above E4. As I did, I stopped, taking some photos of the nightly summer sky. Northern summer nights almost without darkness :D



Anyway, a grey car drives up next to me and stops, the driver opens the window on the passenger side, starting a conversation with me:

"Hey. How are you? Are you ok?" he said.
"Yep, I am just taking some photos." I replied, holding my camera up so that he could see it too.
"Oh, I thought you were doing something else, thought you were planning to jump. The daughter of a co-worker of mine jumped from this bridge couple of years ago, killing herself. Are you sure you are ok?"
"Yep, finishing and going home now." I said, and then he drove off in the other direction again.

Now when I think of it, I have to admit that it's not often you see people crawling on bridges taking photos of the summer sky, especially not around midnight. Suppose that the camera was not visible from inside of that car on some distance either...bah. Guess this guy was just one of these who cares about people in general. It just felt a bit strange, that's it.

life as it should be

Did a quick visit to Bureplatsen today.

Sun, blue sky and some random white clouds. Birds singing. Besides from that, only calm trees. Picture is from sometime last summer though, as I didn't bring my camera along today.

verkligen...?

Fick för mig att göra ett EU-valtest som jag hittade på DN. Så går det när man är smått uttråkad och har ont i ett finger.















Verkligen...? Intressant.

registers?

Found a web forum, with loads of unanswered questions, started wondering why. Why setup and run such thing if you have no intention to either reply upon things yourself or to encourage others to contribute?
For a while I played with the idea of actually doing something 'good' and reply upon some of these unanswered questions lining themselves up, since I do know the answers on those questions.
Clicked upon "reply" and got a message saying 'you need to login first'. Bah. Another place to register. So I asked myself - 'do I need yet another login, at some random place just to give a contribution?' Well, in the end that answer became 'nope'.

Registers for everything...Where is the lonely island I always spoke of in the south? The place where I was to escape to.

...and I am

Green leaves on the trees. Evening sun.
Scent of a newly cut lawn. Right now.
Then I realise. This is me.
And I am happy.

"I dig my toes into the sand,
the ocean looks like a thousand diamonds
strewn across the blue blanket.
I lean against the wind.
Pretend I am weightless
and in this moment
I am happy...happy."

Holland. Vilka minnen. Kan inte glömma. Stänger mina ögon. Svävar. Igen.

allt och inget

Verkar vara lite sådär blandat idag. I allmänhet. Slavat över boken och hemuppgifterna, fortfarande intressant. Undrar varför jag inte läste den här kursen tidigare i livet? Kanske för att bara tanken kändes fel. Igår var det trädgårdsjobb som gällde, den är fortfarande som en djungel, kommer nog alltid att vara så. Nu ska jag ta och baka en frukt & nötkaka. Och ja - syster på väg hitåt, de lämnade Helsingborg imorse. Trevligt :)

nice, perhaps I should try this...

[taken from the local online newspaper]

30 April, again

Yet another "sista april", yet another year, yet another fire, yet another thing. Blue sky, +10°, thin clouds. Not that bad for an April day.

Cold beer, a fire and who knows what's up.

"Gyllene år gå snabbt förbi,
unga, ljusa gyllene år."

email message from 1970, right...something's up ;)

Mail box apparently hides a lot of old secrets.

I would call it a serious situation if I started getting more emails sent to me claiming to have been delivered before I was born, that is. Fun what an internal time reference can do.

3967...bah

Can not ignore them anymore...

need...inspiration...now

I am in such need of inspiration! Äta-sova-plugga...This still-snow-on-the-ground and lack-of-real-spring is killing me soon. Grey, dull, booooring. At least we had some sun today :D

tuuulips, gimme tulips

Back in the civilised world. Wohoo, even if my 'escape' was the good thing to do. It's snowing today, again. Will this winter ever end? I want an end of it now. I want some Spring, just like the one others are talking about. I even got some tulips on the table next to me, purple ones. Just since tulips remind me of old Springish days and some lovely .nl days...

Was in the greyzone between Sweden and Norway the other day, turned on the radio and found out that the only station I could get in, with a decent reception, was some random Finnish station where they played really odd Finnish music and spent 80% of the time talking. Finnish is not among the languages I understand so the evening turned out a little odd...

våffeldag, det är...

...precis vad det är idag ;)

ehrm...vote in june

If you are a citizen of an EU member state, don't forget to vote on the 7 June. You got...another 81 days to decide what/whom to vote for. If you decide not to vote, then also stop complaining about what that the representatives do.

At the time of the previous election of this type only approximately 38% of the population entitled to vote in Sweden actually voted - this is quite a low number.

One of the "excuses" people used over here for not voting last time was something in line with "I didn't know about the election until it was too late, and then I didn't have time to find some information that could help me to decide how to vote/whom to vote upon". I wonder I wonder what these people did during the months before the election, when media (radio, tv, newspapers, online newspapers etc) was giving this some attention? Did these people simply don't have any contact with the rest of the world during these months? That would be amazing, if so.

I would like to try such life too at some moment! :)

"prognos till kl undefined" - wh-what?

This is just such a wonderful forecast:

Listening to Anarchy in the UK (Sex Pistols) works quite well too, then I don't need such a forecast to keep me smiling.

lite random sådär

"Vi tror gärna att antidemokratiska lagar stiftas för att skydda mediaindustrin. Men tänk om mediaindustrin bara är ett svepskäl för att kunna stifta lagarna?"

Dancek

Tänk vad man kan hitta om man bara smurfar runt lite, sådär planlöst utan egentligt mål bland debattinlägg, bloggpostningar och liknande.

superkvinna? super woman?

Found an article in an old newspaper. Hilarious.
If this is it, then I am for sure not a "super woman" as they nicely put it. LOL.

yet another Thursday...

Surgery supposed to happen today was moved again. Wonder when it will finally will be kicking off?

Thursday again. I should really do something about my growing list of things to do (by some reason it tends to grow on Tuesdays/Thursdays). Perhaps I can manage to remove some items from it before the weekend...and spend the weekend doing something else than digging myself through it.

"Den som lever får se."

glimpse of the past

"Ik ben zo high als een papegaai...ik zie allemaal roze olifantjes..."

Reminds me of back when I was just a youngster, late one night a friend of mine (don't remember what he was on) claimed to see red smurfs. As we all know, they are blue.

om trojaner, datoranvändare & sånt

I min rastlöshet så har jag läst en massa bloggar. Besök ngn "bloggportal", klicka på "nästa blogg" eller "ny slumpmässig blogg" och ni vet precis vad jag gjort de senaste två timmarna.

Jag vet inte hur många inlägg jag hittat från folk som har problem med trojaner och annat en dator kan drabbas av om du som datoranvändare inte använder den hjärna du har. Jag lovar att 90% av inläggen jag läst om det här är skrivna av människor som lägger ansvaret på någon annan! De skyller på exempelvis facebook, msn och liknande - när de i själva verket borde kolla över sin eget beteende och sina egna datorvanor!

"problemet finns oftast mellan tangentbordet och stolen"
(som vi inom datorsupportbranschen skulle säga)

Om du låter din dator ladda ner och installera vilka program som helst automatiskt, om du själv klickar på en eller varenda liten länk som ser lockande ut, om din dator inte har virusskydd, om du inte vet om du har en aktiverad brandvägg, om du inte vet hur din dator hanterar cookies etc. Om du själv helt enkelt inte tänker efter - borde du då skylla på "nätverken"?

Visst, nätverken i sig (facebook etc) borde (kanske) ha mer koll på om medlemmar bryter mot de användarvillkor som faktiskt finns. Kanske de även kan göra insatser som gör spridningen av trojaner och sådant via deras nätverk svårare. Men när det verkligen gäller så borde folk ta sitt eget ansvar och inte skylla på andra hela tiden ;)

weekend project?

Saturday again. Where do the weeks go? Time runs so fast. Craaaazy. Slightly restless now. Still looking for a weekend project, need something else than "regular work" to devote my time to.

Project of visiting my father's place during next week is off. His surgery got scheduled again, guess I will visit him at the hospital instead. Once he gets out from hospital again, then I am escaping to his place for a visit though.

But for now - weekend project. Ideas anyone?

randomly captured

Discussed photography the other day, and the fact that I during some periods take a lot of random photos. The one below is just one of the recent ones, a car accident photo from Vienna.

Usually bring a camera along, does not mean that I use it though. Just means that if I want to capture something, then I can. Randomly captured photos usually "win" over arranged photos. At least over here.

"Wanting to be someone you're not, is a waste of the person you are."
Kurt Cobain

snow, illness, Bo Kaspers, ...

Already March...Previous days have been more or less devoted to 

1) getting less ill;

2) removing snow from where it shouldn't be.

These two things don't go well together. I can say that the snow is no longer where it's annoying me, but my illness is still around without getting much better :(

Soooooo stupid.

"och sen så spelade dom en gammal sång
om ett par som lämnat allt bakom sig"

[Bo Kaspers Orkester]

not to forget

Sonja has her birthday today. 89 years old now. Best additional grandmother ever.

dutch word of the day

Bara för att det kan vara lite roligt - länk till Dutch word of the day!

Häromdagen var "flapdrol" dagens ord, idag är det "storing" - med följande exempel "Wereldwijde storing treft Gmail." Haha! Klockrent? Kanske.

Så många ord, så mycket att lära... ;)

papper & sånt...

Tog itu med den växande högen av papper/post idag, otroligt hur mycket det faktiskt kan bli om man råkar ignorera den växande högen i en vecka eller två. Folk påstår att dagens moderna samhälle blir mer papperslöst, jag undrar vilken del av samhället de lever i? Inte i samma del som mig iaf [kanske är de papperslösa? Skulle inte tro det dock...]!

Efter dagens timmar (!?!) av sorterande & läsande fick jag följande uppskattade fördelning:

80% att slänga av olika anledningar

10% att läsa senare

10% att spara av olika anledningar

Vem vågade säga ordet papperslöst i närheten av mig? 

I all min iver att beta av pappershögen så lyckades jag till och med skicka iväg två brev som jag skulle postat innan Wien men som jag inte riktigt hann med då. Plus att jag lyckades få iväg min reseräkning för Wienresan...Papper papper papper papper papper...

...och är det inte papper så är det register som man blir instoppade i mot sin vilja! *less på big brother samhället*

flickan under gatan

Läs den.

jag vet

"När livet inte längre är vad det var. När natt & dag flyter ihop. När skillnaden mellan rätt & fel försvinner. När de små detaljerna är vad som håller ditt huvud ovanför ytan. När inget annat spelar roll."

Been there, done that.

Jag vet.
Låt mig lyssna.
Vännen.

*brr*

-10 degrees outside. Snowing. No sun, daylight. Power is back again. No warm water inside though. House is cold. Heating system is down, being repaired at the moment.

I am wrapped in the blue blanket. Once again. 1.5 years. 

"we just have time to kill, time to kill"

*tick-tack tick-tack*

back in .se

I am somehow back in .se after some days in Vienna. Sleepy. Ill. Suffering from some kind of post workshop effects again, been a while since last time, didn't get these feelings after the previous 3 workshops...but now it is back, _the_ feeling.

Snowing outside, and I should look for some food.

why does everything happen at once?

Sonja has pneumonia. Considering that she is 88 and just went through a surgery, this is considered being quite bad. Doctor says she might not get home again :(

My father's surgery got moved again. He should have gone to the hospital today, gotten the surgery done tomorrow and then be getting home soon. Now it's moved until sometime end of month again and no one knows anything. AGAIN.

Ooh, Vienna approaching fast too.

"broder Kjell" är på besök från Sthlm

Låter ungefär som om han gett namn åt ett dansband eller är en munk av något slag. Inte är han min bror heller. Snarare plastfarbror om det är ett begrepp som existerar. Men broder Kjell kallas han ändå. Underligt.

Nu te.

comes a time, when you are...

The previous days have just passed by, don't know where they have gone. All of a sudden it's Thursday evening. And I feel completely brain-dead, as if I need to restart my brain. Or perhaps only sleep a bit more? But what can I do, I can not sleep more. Can not fall asleep earlier and can not sleep longer in the mornings. Stress? Perhaps.

I am so relieved, her surgery went well. My dear additional grandmother should now be ok and soon on her way back home again. Hopefully. My father's upcoming surgery on the other hand - don't ask.

"Comes a time,
when you're driftin'
Comes a time,
when you settle down"
(yep, that's Neil Young)

The Perishers - Nothing like you and I

"We spent some time
together walking.
Spent some time just talking
about who we were.
You held my hand so
very tightly.
And told me what we
could be dreaming of.

There’s nothing like you and I.

We spent some time
together drinking.
Spent some time just thinking
about days of joy.
As our hearts started
beating faster.
I recalled your laughter
from long ago.

There’s nothing like you and I.

We spent some time
together crying.
Spent some time just trying
to let each other go.
I held your hand so
very tightly.
And told you what I would be
dreaming of.

There’s nothing like you and I.
So why do I even try?
There’s nothing like you and I."

san vs. early mornings & snow

Couldn't sleep this morning, got up at 7, again. Quite boring since no one else is awake at that time of the day during the weekend. Also quite good since I got some more work done (2nd morning in the row this happens now) before going outside dealing with the first round of snow. By now I probably should need to get my ass out once again to deal with the snow that has fallen the past three hours or so. Question is if I should wait until tonight or even until tomorrow morning? Hmm. 

Sure it's winter, but why all this snow? :)

san vs. "them"

Why is it so that some people think that just since you study something as theoretical and abstract as some random odd physics, then you know absolutely nothing about anything else in the world? It's as if they think that you never ever set your foot out on the streets, that you never ever face the real world, that you live your own life in some kind of parallel universe and never experience anything else.

Cooome ooooon. Stop this madness, take a more objective look around yourself.

san vs. the world

I ran into a "funny" guy the other day. It was way way icy so I took the bus, which I seldom do. The bus was really crowded, i.e. some random people were to end up standing.

This guy and his pregnant girlfriend, both of them being something like 20-22 years old, get on the bus (bus still hasn't left the main bus station). The guy sits down on the opposite side of the aisle from where I was sitting, thereby taking the last free seat in the bus. Once sitting down he turns to me and says:

"hey my girlfriend is pregnant, why don't you give her your seat?"

This little action made me think "huh?!? wh-what?" and it ended with me saying something in line with:

"get your own ass up and let her take your seat instead"


***
Jeeez where is this world going? The guy set himself down, leaving his own pregnant girlfriend standing!?! After him saying what he did - no way in hell that I would give her my seat. If he hadn't said it I probably would have offered her my seat, considering her condition and all (especially since I doubt that anyone else sitting nearby would have done so).

hospital mode?

Have somehow been in some hospital mode again.

My father has been at one hospital for two days again, should be on his way home again now though. Surgery currently scheduled for the 5th, unless it gets changed again. Today they spoke about perhaps moving it again and we are now really starting to ask how much longer he should be waiting!

Another hospital currently "keeps" my additional grandmother. The lovely white-haired lady who happens to be my grandmother's oldest sister and the one who became as a grandmother for me too when my real grandmother unexpectedly died, still being quite young, more than 20 years ago. I hope she will recover soon, and return to her little apartment and celebrate her upcoming 89th birthday :D

The word hospital starts to become a negative word for me...

"Oh it's such a perfect day,

I'm glad I spent it with you.
Oh such a perfect day,
you just keep me hanging on,
you just keep me hanging on."

I like this song in some odd way. It is even more odd that I came to think of it today though, since today has not, in general, been a perfect day at all. Perhaps a decent day, but a perfect day...naaaa been a while.

Edit 20 Jan 2009: This song is called "Perfect Day", it can be found on the album Transformer, released in 1972 by Lewis Allan "Lou" Reed.

Dutch?

I guess I should take up my learning-some-Dutch-project again sometime soonish, perhaps it's time to open that new-for-me book in Dutch from December. A friend of mind also shared a link to some kind of online tutorial (basic grammar & pronunciation) that might be useful (I haven't checked it yet so I have no idea!). Time will tell.

ticket hunting done

Heading to Vienna again in February. Time for a workshop. Time for catching up with some old friends. Time to get away from Sweden for some days...

2008 is gone, 2009 has come.

Am I supposed to remember what happened during the previous year? I don't remember much, just remember some parts and then again I have some gaps during some weeks/months. I think I can remember the year of 2008 as a year with changes, leading to something new. I hope.

I remember how 2008 ended at least (always something), I spent most of the time between what other people call Christmas and now in the land of nowhere. Where the streets barely have names. Where street lamps barely exist. Where you can go out on a 2 hours walk and not see another human being. Where you can relax. Where you can do crazy stuff. Where you can do whatever you feel like doing without justification. Where you even can hide from random gossip. Soooooooo good for young crazy "homeless" people like myself!