should let go

He has been around, on and off, for quite some time now. It does not matter anymore. The past and the present tell me that i should let go this time. For real. Cut the strings and not go back. Not turn around. Just keep going and forget him.

Maybe one day we will find a way to be "friends only".

Keeping this up right now only makes both of us go crazy. Since that is what is happening, at least with me. I get annoyed. I feel pushed. I feel like crap. I feel like he is on my nerves all the time. I feel like I don't want to see him.
I have been avoiding him lately, can admit that, not without a reason though. Can not continue like this, it has to stop soon.

BUT - I somehow love him even though I hate him.

How can I both love and hate someone so much at the same time? I have to stop this before I start to hate myself for it.

I have to put an end to this since it is probably the best for both of us.