31 January 2008

why, ooh why?

I recovered this one from one of my other blogs, from the past. Originally posted last year with the same name.
These lines in the beginning are all I am going to add.


I should not need to ask, I do know.

He is no longer among us, the friend who has been going up and down lately and for some time. The past and the present became too much to handle.

Been there, done that. Been close to that line, but I found something to live for - so here I am today. Maybe not always happy, but alive.

"and I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
the dreams in which I'm dying
are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
when people run in circles
it's a very, very
mad world"

I remember the crazy, sometimes mad moments but also the sad ones: all the times when Jens was declared being a complete idiot, when he walked around at uni in the middle of the winter without shoes but in big socks instead, when he pushed me into watching Day Break for 6 hours (I kind of hate these "series") in a row, when he got me into a car with him, when he got me on that motorcycle with him, when we were running around Katwijk looking for a pharmacy, when MAX was a must-go-to -before-I-die since they had coffee and we didn't, when there was too much Kwak, when he got lost on the way from his home to mine, when we woke up together, when he was running around naked in my room looking for clothes and suddenly stopped and said "you don't happen to have a towel, do you?" before heading off to my closet looking for one, when he called in the middle of the night just to say "hey - I got it, I know how to solve it - call you in the morning" and then just hung up without saying more just for calling couple of hours later again, when he told me that things were not going to work out, when he told me about the "red ones" and I just said "I know, you don't have to tell me", when he told me that "mad world" was a nice description of his life, when he went into his "your majesty mood", ..., and all the other things not to be forgotten.

Axel - R.I.P my dear. You are and will stay in our hearts.
Miss you so much.

Everything passes with time, memories fade away even if they remain, even this I guess - but currently it hurts so much to even walk by his old house.

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